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Saturday 12 June 2010

Mancestors -- by Meltonian



 'Passport to Pimlico'(1949)



Drinking until you fell flat on your face,
getting through sixty untipped fags a day,
stuffing yourself with bacon rolls and buns
regardless of what the doctor might say,
let alone the wife, whose appointed place
was to get your washing and ironing done,
cook a decent dinner and clear away.
You can see it might have been a lot of fun.

No washing-up or hanging the clothes out,
hoovering or mopping the kitchen floor,
talking to the kids or cooking the grub,
all that New Man stuff would be out the door.
No poncy foreplay or fiddling about,
a brisk embrace and then straight to the nub,
taking thirty-five seconds and no more,
then get your drawers on and down the pub.

Of course there were some serious downsides,
work, lawn-mowing, creosoting the shed,
an adherence to ancient traditions
which made experiment pretty well dead
so life experience was less than wide,
no art or culture or erudition,
no decent shampoo, and a limited
repertoire of sexual positions.

Personal hygiene was largely absent,
only tramps would have beards like that today,
and there’s no shortage of things to condemn,
like attitudes to women or being gay:
sometimes those chaps were rather unpleasant.
But they were taken prisoner by their time
like us, and finally one can only say
we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.

'I'm All Right Jack' (1959)

 

23 comments:

offsideinparis said...

And just who is the pretty young thing in the window?

martillo said...

This sounds a little like "weren't people rubbish in the past? Well, white heterosexual males, anyway." Is that all you feel about those men? Nothing to save them apart from "they were prisoners of their time"?

As a poem, it reads as if you you couldn't decide whether it should be free verse or follow some kind of structure: it rhymes in places but not in others and the lack of metre makes it difficult to read.

If you really want to do this as a poem, I'd do two things. First of all, spend some time thinking about those men's lives and see if you can't find some contrasts with your other ideas. Then try to fit it into a rigid structure: this is a good discipline because it'll force you to think of different ways to say things and make you play with language more. I don't know, why not try a sonnet, for example?

Good luck and well done for putting something up!

Hi offside. How's it going?

Meltonian said...

1. Light verse.

2. a
b
c
b
a
c
b
c

3. Pentameter.

Thanks for your advice.

Zephirine said...

Thanks for your comments and critique, Martillo. On this site, which has a small friendly group of regulars, we usually try to keep the comments more amicable than didactic.

If you'd like to suibmit some of your own work, feel free to send it to me at the email address given.

Zephirine said...

* submit

btw Melton, you missed out 'curating the collection of nine dead lawnmowers in various states of disassembly in the garage' but I suppose it was a bit difficult to fit in. That is, assuming my own mancesteors were typical, which I think they were.

Zephirine said...

* mancestors. Tsk.

martillo said...

Sorry. I certainly didn't mean to be unfriendly.

freep said...

I have doubts that a person who puts 'creosoting the shed' among the downsides can be a real poet. I call this dark verse indeed.

Zephirine said...

Indeed, freep, though Cuprinol is easier on the sinuses.

Anonymous said...

Is Cuprinol the one that says it 'does exactly what it says on the tin' or is that sonnets?

Perhaps, Mr. Meltonian (if that really is your name)you should consider the Art Pepper Poetry Correspondence Course. For the paltry sum of £1999.99p, I can teach you to outshine giants like Andrew Motion and William Magonagall.

There is a 'budget option' for £19.99p that can make you proficient at the limerick. I urge you to take up one of these valuable offers.

Better yet, perhaps Mr. Martillo (whose interest in poetry has never, oddly enough, extended to the poetry blogs at the Grauniad) would be kind enough to show us how it should be done? I'm agog with anticipation...

Meltonian said...

My cheque's in the post.

Zephirine said...

Well, as you know, Professor Aladwani, it's easy to strike the wrong note on this ethernet thingy. I have been amazed at the pomposity of some of my own comments when viewed in the cold light of day. Though not often. Mr/Ms Martillo meant to be helpful, I'm sure.

The one which does what it says on the tin is Ronseal. Cuprinol stinks less than creosote, but I don't think they use the fact in their publicity.

file said...

"thirty-five seconds"!! Endurance like that really dates this piece, (further verisimilitude what!)

martillo, martillo, that name rings a bell... wasn't there a Barcelone martillo back in the day?

enjoyed this Meltogs, cheers.
[pic ed: thanks for the "I'm All Right Jack" reminder, love that movie, what a cast]

guitou said...

Honey...........I'm home!
http://www.icanhasinternets.com/2010/05/25-horribly-sexist-vintage-ads/

Any idea how sexist America was during the fifties?

guitouinparistoo said...

filou, Martillo ex Tony retired to a monastery to write poetry about Dog above. We are blessed, soon his light will shine upon us starting a renewing of our mind.I can't wait, c'mon Martillo, light it up.:-)

Meltonian said...

Prosody clearly didn't feature on the horarium.

Thanks, file. If BM looks in, above was written for your PP thread, but I didn't finish it in time. Zeph very kindly placed it here.

file said...

Guitou, those adverts are frankly astonishing. A lot of them are visual, but among my "favourite" by-lines:

"Don't worry darling, you didn't burn the beer"

"So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks"

"If you ever broke 14 fingernails cleaning an oven, you'd know why I want this self-cleaning one"

[I'd quite like to know how many women have 14 fingers, possibly quite a limited demographic]

Is it any wonder that elderly folk such as Mish, Melton and Freep find trans-gender communication so challenging?

guitou said...

filou ,
Can't speak for them ,I'm probably the older one though. Anyway if needed, I recommend on line communication therapy service : 14 fingers.com.

guitou said...

Btw, I should have rather posted this link regarding "honey I'm home"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAiyrees0uM

Pleasantville, was the first feature film recorded and scanned digitally-

mimi said...

I come across this - while feeling well, not really comfortable with myself due to all sorts of stuff. What has kept me happy, sort of, and definitely sane has been a song which kind of sticks the fingers up to everyone who is a little bit fey.

Martillo: this rhymes in places. And actually is bloody fun and it's just great if you live near where it was filmed. Which I do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npK0LjggLa0

freep said...

file, we may be aged and imperfectly formed, but we have a little gusto remaining in our small lives, and Gentlemen's Relish for the renovation of sheds, knowledge of the breeds of dogs, and the construction of whimsical verse. As to being male, my researches show we cannot help that. To speak for myself, I have been known to hold parley with the other gender, and it was partly agreeable.

offsideinnormandie said...

Hi all,

Personal communication to Filou: could you please send me your latest email address? The one I have doesn't seem to work. Merci!

file said...

freep, you're not the only one who's imperfectly formed you know, bloody elitist.

O, check your inbox.