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Saturday, 3 November 2007

A Sort of Caption Competition



What does this picture inspire you to? a poem? a silly joke? a random philosophical thought? No prize for the best one, but of course you will know how clever you are...

-

113 comments:

file said...

the original earth goddess?

cool pic Zeph, where is it?

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm pushing this vegan diet too hard.

Anonymous said...

If that oak starts pestering me again, I'm calling the police.

Anonymous said...

What the hell was in that sun-block?

Anonymous said...

(Guilty as anonymous above)

The gardening course promised "green fingers" but this is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Is that a Christmas tree or are you just pleased to see me?

I'll stop now!

Zephirine said...

Excellent, Mouth!

My suggestion: When I have a really bad hair day I find the best thing is just to take a nap.

file said...

'hey, who grassed me up'

file said...

she's from Moss Side you know

file said...

her name's Heather

Zephirine said...

Her name might be Heather but she's from Chelsea, or she was :)

file said...

...she's in touch with her roots, likes Herb Alpert and Miracle Gro, a cultivated lady who mows what she wants and weeds an earthy man with sap

...do we get our own coats here?

file said...

Oh, she's a Sloane Hydrangea is she?

guitougoal said...

celtic goddess napping?

Zephirine said...

Definitely superhuman, Guitou - if you look, you can see some people in the background, gives you an idea of her size.

guitougoal said...

or mother nature transformation into human.....as a movement away from nature into human subjectivity.
or vis/versa: vis medicatrix naturae...

tony said...

Sloane Hydrangea LOL. It made think of an old joke, but since zeph and guitou have hopelessly raised the tone, here's another:

How do you say 'lawnmower' in French?


Un cudegras.

Where's the cloakroom?

guitougoal said...

tony,
rather: un cudegrasse

tony said...

Thanks, guitou, I've only ever done this one orally before...

Unknown said...

one pill makes you bigger,
and one pill makes you small...

... Go Ask Alice?

Zephirine said...

Alice will have everything you want... even a coup de grass..

Sloane hydrangea and green fingers are my favourites so far!

guitougoal said...

"the cultivated woman who likes miracle grow", was not bad at all.

file said...

Lawna Doone, Margaret Thatcher, Kate Bush, Greener Lollabridgida, Angelina Hilly, Kim Wilde, Michelle Pfizer or

Jane Fronda

...someone stop me, please

file said...

Cleopatiotra?

file said...

Mowna Lisa?

tony said...

Ok, file: grassy moll, kate mossy, Lea Remick.

Zephirine said...

Calm down File, listen to the nice music about a green girl.

file said...

Lara Croft, The Power-Tuft Girls...

tony said...

How green was my Sally.

tony said...

Gonna trim my pitch up.

file said...

Lea Remmick is very good, so is Joni ta

Knolly Ringwald?

file said...

one man went to mow....

file said...

there's a furrow needs tilling, arrrgh

bit of a hairy chest tho, nevermind, 'We plough the fields and scatter...'

guitougoal said...

Salade de Femme.

file said...

Sheena is a Punk Rockery

Zephirine said...

Grassy Moll, lol.

tony said...

...her mother is a leek

file said...

Dejeuner sur l'Herb

Unknown said...

lovely joni, zeph :)

i can't compete with the sterling work on offer here; but whatever witchcraft she was up to, it must have really pissed 'em off to tar-and-leaf her like that ...

file said...

Dejeuner sur l'Herbe, sorry Edouard

tony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tony said...

I mean this

tony said...

Zeph - loved the Joni link. Strangely, I have that song in three formats now but never knew it was called that...

tony said...

grassy green goddess,
you are all things to all men:
prayed to and preyed on.

guitougoal said...

Miss Viensbroutermongazon.
and that's it.
I'll take the small pills because it's cheaper.

Zephirine said...

Hooray, the first pome!

I can take or leave Joni M a lot of the time, but she will certainly be let into Heaven for writing the Blue album.

Zephirine said...

Miss Grazeonmyturf, Guitou? Cheeky girl..

Unknown said...

there's a lot of joni worth having been listened to at least once in a teenage life...

don't know that i would say the same for genesis, though.

guitou - be sure to take a sample of this on your journey down the rabbit hole:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LdwGUXoXyA

(have i posted that already somewhere before? how very groundhog day of me if i have...)

guitougoal said...

cute clip thanks marcela.
I am surprised there is no reference made to the:
-green grass girl.

Zephirine said...

Hey, Greengrass would like this lady :) - she's maybe a little tall for him though.

guitougoal said...

like: sculpture of madame greengrass
by ed scissorhands.

Zephirine said...

:))

tony said...

wild ma nature tamed.
Prostrate before her master:
topiarism.

offsideintahiti said...

Te Vahine Fenua

Te Tane Miti

Te Here Nui

Unknown said...

which roughly translates as ... ?

Zephirine said...

Well, thanks for that, Offie:)



I only lay down
to enjoy the greenery
and now look at me

tony said...

and thanks to you, zeph; a very nice, entertaining idea.

file said...

what Tony said

did some research into Offie's words of wisdom and they mean:

"The sky is blue because of all the dead fish in the atmosphere"

ดีนาคนาค

Zephirine said...

Well, somewhere to be silly, eh? always a good plan.

Zephirine said...

Thanks for the translation File, thought it must be something like that:)

file said...

...er, should hastily add that I found that translation in a source called Hackiman's Book of Lies...

file said...

...along with the little known fact that All Muslims are forbidden to eat glass

Zephirine said...

Grass?

file said...

glass

file said...

...well, that's what they told me but if they'd ever seen Grass as buxom and voluptuous as Knolly Ringwald here they'd probably have forbad that too, forsooth

guitougoal said...

Britney Spears one night stand new chlorophyll diet
To get sexy to lose weight got involved in the project
gimme one more time ,gimme one more time, fAck!
drank it all, turned green, still sleeping in the pArk.

Anonymous said...

Her reflection in the pond
often swims before our eyes
know the image
only in the dual realm
green britney'voice
become eternal

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
guitougoal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zephirine said...

(deletions = Herr Rilke and M. Tougoal having trouble with multiple posts)

Anonymous said...

All sorts of thoughts come to mind - I think of the Green Man at Fountains, for instance, but mostly, having read most of the thread, I wonder why this makes me think of shrivelled corn circles of male genitalia and pre-historic chalk images of same, yet the female image is the earth goddess.
Hum.

henrymoon said...

Paul Greengrass

Zephirine said...

btw this garden was called The Garden of Dreams and was intended to illustrate the stress-relieving properties of plants!

guitougoal said...

zeph,
I just watched a documentary with interviews about the work of landscape sculptor David Goldsworthy.
Many of his works are made with natural elements
such as ice, wood, grass and even leaves and are often short-lived.Amazing technique..

guitougoal said...

http://www.arthistory.sbc.edu/artartists/photoandy.html

Zephirine said...

Yes, lovely stuff - I like the red pool, simple idea and so striking.

The green sleeping girl was made by a sculptor called Sue Hill who also made this one.

The green girl was reportedly bought by Olivia Harrison.

Unknown said...

olivia being george's wife? forgive my ignorance...

the other sculpture you posted link to, zeph, has a certain goldsworthy quality to it. now hereally is the god's bollocks...

IMHO.

bonfire night - perhaps the green girl and her hair some sort of alternative guy?

Zephirine said...

Yes, sorry, half asleep when I posted that, Olivia as in Mrs George.

The Goldsworthy stuff is stunning.

Not sure how well the grassy girlie would burn, one could make a combustible version cf The Wicker Man:

guitougoal said...

btw, Goldsworthy's first name is Andy, not David as I mentioned above, sorry.
....and he lives in Scotland.

Unknown said...

goodness, guitou, if you hadn't posted this erratum i wouldn't have realized you were talking about my absolute idol, andy goldsworthy!!

great minds, eh!

i treasure books of his work as personal bibles - would love to see the doc you mention. any utube clips?

Anonymous said...

Wasnt so keen on the photo at first, but now it's starting to grow on me.

Zephirine said...

bd: lol.

More Goldsworthy here. If you click through the slideshow there are some nice pics.

Anonymous said...

I reckon if you got Andy Goldsworthy in to do your patio you'd be wanting a fixed price not an hourly rate.

Unknown said...

bd - if you can get goldsworthy to do my patio... well. i'll find the money.

i was looking for some sort of documentation of the
artist at work and also found this, which i rather liked...

Anonymous said...

I've seen that documentary too - Rivers and Tides - assuming it's the same one. It was almost hypnotic. At least once, a piece would collapse after Andy had spent many hours consructing it, and he very patiently started all over and built it again.

Zeph - how did Mrs. Harrison get her home I wonder? I wouldn't have guessed she was portable.

file said...

finding, weaving, placing, shaping
pure circles in an impure world
forming, leaving, winding, tying
man lines and curves in woods

timbrous birch and stringy weeds
pinning even tiny leafen
nature utters written words
in verse, if only for a season



thanks for the Golden introduction, he's like English Nature Zen isn't he? Recalls a bit of Atwood tho when she talks of man 'Squaring [nature's] Circle', literally and in reverse in AG's case, very beautiful on many levels

Zephirine said...

Nice pome File.

Munni, I took the pic at Chelsea Flower show and they don't have much time to build things there so she must have been brought in ready-made..I think there's quite a strong framework underneath made of chicken wire or whatever.

Goldsworthy's pieces all have to be built on site though and are famously labour-intensive!

tony said...

Yes, I love the poem too, file. I'm intrigued by the minimalistic punctuatiion; it adds to my pleasure, though I feel incapable of doing it myself: I even punctuate my texts!

Zephirine said...

That's why I don't send texts, Tony: takes me too long to find the commas :)

file said...

perhaps you could do it in reverse Tony, write your naturally punc.ed text and then force yourself to take out the symbols

really smitten by Goldsworthy's works, gonna try some myself, perhaps it's just me but I can't help thinking it's a bit like Parkour

Zephirine said...

I think that's just you Filo:)

offsideintahiti said...

Encore là ? Elle prend racine, non?

Anonymous said...

Racine? Eh? Take it to another level why not. Though Racine is not the greatest of French humourists.

henrymoon said...

"...Vous que mille verdures me forçaient d'estimer ;
Vous qui êtes plante, enfin que je voudrais aimer."

Anonymous said...

Just caught up with the fun.

Well played everyone!

Last effort from me at least.

Mystery of Bill and Ben's multiple viagra orders solved.

Zephirine said...

Great captions, MotM!

HenryMoon, how you do raise the tone :) though I fear my policy of providing translations for our esteemed monoglot readers has proved short-lived.

The best I can do in the Racine stakes is "Humus toute entière à sa proie attachée?"

and I've no chance of translating that...

henrymoon said...

Love the ""Humus toute entière à sa proie attachée?", Zeph.

Given that I favour lateral, intuitive mistranslations, I'd probably come out with "wholesome chickpea tied to altar in Tahiti".

But that's my twisted mind at work and shouldn't asparagus the offsides...

offsideintahiti said...

Z & H,

You should probably take it easy on the organic food. I mean look what it's done to that poor woman.

And don't trust translators, they're a notoriously two-tongued bunch.

Anonymous said...

Offside - talking of which, you never said what your earlier Tahitian post meant - was it the polynesian for "Who's your big green friend?"

offsideintahiti said...

Zeph,

I'm just ashamed of my poor command of reo ma'ohi, of which I know only a few words.

Translation of my very naïve "poem":

The Land Woman

The Ocean Man

The Great Love

Anonymous said...

Nice...very mythic :)

offsideintahiti said...

Well, I'd get stuck if I tried anything more complicated (like sentence structures).

:)

Anonymous said...

I don't take my lobster for a walk anymore but hey, je suis le tenebreu, la tour abolie....
Someone can correct my franglais and pay tribute to Gerard de Nerval.
Surely.

Zephirine said...

Je suis le ténébreux, le veuf, l’inconsolé
Le prince d’Aquitaine à la tour abolie

I'm lobster-intolerant, myself, but I used to like the pome.

Can't see a connection with the grassy lady though:)

Zephirine said...

Unless the lobster just bit her and that's why her hair's like that...

offsideintahiti said...

Zeph, Mimi,

it's the lobster you should be worried about. According to the latest research anyway:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/nov/08/animalrights.sciencenews

Zephirine said...

Oh, dear... and those poor lettuces, screaming as they're pulled out of the ground...it's a cruel world.

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