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Tuesday 30 December 2008

Resolution? -- by Zephirine

.

So now
chilly and damp
afflicted with colds
starved of sunlight
hungover and bloated
exasperated by relatives
weak from loss of money
regretting our generosity
now we’re supposed to make a new start?

No chance
we’re in no condition
to keep any resolutions
or to do anything much except sleep
it’s like having to start a new job
at four o’clock
on a Sunday morning

Forget about it
be a New Year refusenik
January the First is just a date
New Year parties are terrible anyway
hibernate now
as Nature intended
restructure your year
pick your own new beginning
choose a time when you will feel
bright new and brave
the First of May is my preference

You could choose your birthday
(though that might make you feel
too old and tired to start again)
or find a time when no family or friends
have anything else to celebrate
or ask your astrologer
to select a propitious day
or stick a pin in the calendar
at a random summer page

Of course if you live
in the Southern Hemisphere
some of the above does not apply
but in my view you should choose anyway
and start anew when you damn well please

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Zeph,

I love this one--being given permission to not have to have a New Years resolution is perhaps the best belated Christmas present one could get. (Though even as I say this I must confess to having already resolved to--and indeed having begun to-- attempt to lure people to Other Stuff, if only so that they may experience the preliminary joys of lurking...)

Anonymous said...

revolutionary resolve, that's the salt!

Anonymous said...

BTP, those who read and lurk are welcome, those who read and make comments are more welcome, and those who read, comment and write contributions are the most welcome of all!

Anonymous said...

Good morning all clear-headed 09 Stuffers--and on this worried subject of benign lurking--Thought you might be interested to note this latest evidence (one might almost say proof) of site envy from the Guardian sports blog, where, less than 18 hours after the posting of Zeph's heroically irresolute poetic manifesto and less than three after file's response-post declaring (one presumes) loyal allegiance to the irresolution revolution, there appeared on the Guardian sports blog a Marina Hyde piece titled "Why football needs a resolution revolution", and beginning as follows:

"The happiest of new years to you all. And what business have we on this fine morning but to make our 2009 resolutions? What business have we — bar the nursing of sore heads, the mumbling of semi-amnesiac apologies, the paying of bail bonds — but to sit down with pen and paper, resolving to do things a bit differently as we enter this not-altogether promising new year?"

This can only mean that Other Stuff, aka Green Elephant Nation, has become the center of the hasty- opinion universe, secretly attended upon by jealously lurking blogojournalists everywhere in search of outrageous cutting-edge conjecture upon which to base copycatting spur-of-the moment oppositional views. This would seem to represent success of a curious sort...though in the interest of fairness one must confess to having been wrong about such things before...?

Anonymous said...

Well, who knows, BTP? I have a site checker which tells me where in the world our readers are, but it doesn't give detailed info like M Hyde, Flat 9, Smartarse Towers, Highgate, for example.

There was a phase on PseudsCorner when certain bloggers were convinced that Guardian sports writers were scanning their work for ideas, but I think it's much more likely to be morphic resonance, which as you of course remember is the mysterious evolutionary process by which small birds the world over discovered, within a few months of each other, how to peck through the tops of milk bottles.

Green Elephant Nation, I like it. Including the Foxfinch Wing and the Crocoduck Tendency.

Anonymous said...

I gave up resolutions when I typoed resolution for revolution. Wanted to change the world. Didn't, so there you go.

Now if I have a resolution, it's to stop gloating when Australia lose stuff. It'll only come back to bite me so farewell the glory of stuffing them in cycling, farewell to rather going about my day to day biz with a smile when they lost the rugby league, farewell to the huge joyousness of Wales beating them at the Millenium Stadium, and of course taking no joy at all in the thought that the Saffers might stuff them 3-0 at the SCG.

I am reformed.

Anonymous said...

"taking no joy at all in the thought that the Saffers might stuff them 3-0 at the SCG."

I believe all of it except that one, Mimi:)

Anonymous said...

Yeah well, Zeph, with the armouries of evil luck I carry, Ricky Roller will hit a treble ton and wipe the Saffers of the map.

I won't even get a grin about Aus knocked off the Top Spot.

Zephirine said...

Ponting out first ball 0.

Hehe.