photo of Coypu (nutria) in Dortmund Zoo by Timo Sack
The Coypu is lacking in charm
it is like a large rat, but aquatic
it makes holes in the banks of a stream
and the damage it does is dramatic
The Coypu has bright orange teeth
a look which is seldom in fashion
and at times has been bred for its meat
which, though low-fat, does not inspire passion
You could wear Coypu fur as a cloak
if that is your idea of clothing
though you might risk a sudden attack
from protestors who’d view you with loathing
Coypu ravaged the Anglian Broads
till instructions came from the judiciary
and we're told the obstreperous hordes
were wiped out by the Min. Ag. and Fishery
with every assurance and platitude
that humanely their weapons were working...
but with orange incisors and attitude
the Coypu may somewhere be lurking
37 comments:
Department of You Couldn't Make It Up (though this is from Wikipedia, so I suppose somebody might have):
"Nutria [Coypu]and the damage they cause, in particular the damage to the levees before Hurricane Katrina, were featured in a first season episode of the A&E Television series, Steven Seagal: Lawman. Some were shot by police officers and the dead animals were fed to alligators. Seagal, who is a practicing Buddhist, says he is opposed to personally harming another creature without cause and did not actually shoot them. However, he said that he was happy that the food chain was being respected."
Zeph,
you ARE making it all up, aren't you?
It must all be true, it was on the internet.
Top poem, Zeph. judiciary/fishery is inspired. I'd always imagined they were fairly benign creatures, but seeing that picture I suddenly have doubts.
Just pass me that pearl-handled corkscrew;
Let's drink to the health of the Coypu!
For tonight I feel jubilant
At the thought of this ruminant
Tinkling out Chopin's impromptus.
Zeph,
yeah, right. Nice photoshop work on the gerbil, though. Very creative.
Thanks, Meltonian and freep - a health unto the Coypu indeed!
Offie, ask the folks in Normandie about les ragondins... I believe the toothy beasts have got quite settled in to some Norman marshland in recent years.
Nice one Zeph, the internal rhymes work well too. An under-versed beast, the coypu, this might be a first.
I have now asked a couple of normans and they agree that the ragondin is best served stewed.
Yes, Offie, I think they have to be stewed, being rather tough, but low in cholesterol (I do love Wikipedia).
Thanks Filo, perhaps I can claim to have a First in Nutrial Versification and Coyputic Lyrics?
They could have shot Seagal and fed him to the termites.
Well if we can shoot to kill and maybe stew everything, perhaps Rich Hall is doing us all a favour. Not sure that a Bush tastes good but the thing about the french not having a word for entrepreneur is just, Bush.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npK0LjggLa0
Of course I'm in Scotland so the CIA can't shoot me.
Coypu is lacking in charm? as much as Steven Seagal the tourist of the buddhists ?
Mimi watch out for S. Seagall dress to kill everywhere including Scotland.
Get these crims. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b1wt3-zpzQ&feature=related
I love those tunes.
Zephirine Attenborough strikes again.
Can we have the ptarmigan next?
No-one who has seen one can
Be cruel to the shy ptarmigan
The snowy breast! The beady eye!
Would make even Attila sigh.
Mr Attila, so I've heard,
had a taste for eating that bird,
he liked his roasted ptarmigan
in butter sauce, with parmesan.
loved it Zeph - witty and meticulous...
the line "Coypu ravaged the Anglican Broads" is an amazing line and one can imagine great minds circling for weeks looking for somewhere to place it...
so for an unfashionable and largely wiped-out orange-toothed pseudo-rat you have constructed an almost seamless chanelle-channel, excepting only for 'platitiude' but anyhow it rhymes with gratitude as well... lol
Hi Doc, lovely to see you here again. Glad you liked the poem.
The ptarmigan having been well delineated by MM and Mishari, maybe next time I'll try the duck-billed platitude...
Duck, Bill, it's a platitude!
Hey, Shooter, well timed! Have you recovered from all of those cross words yet?
Ah those Anglican Broads; I knew nothing good could come of women vicars:-)
hey filo
still not surfaced yet but glimmer of light and I think that must be the way up..
glug glug...
looking forward to some (soapy?) decompression blues, doc
file I have to be careful about 21 december 2012 as the conduit is closing fast...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bolf5zzmfDQ&feature=related
have to get into this chamber before...
but this is the one I absolutely adore,
remembering those lines:
here it quiversw
is blood
through the earth it's courses
and out through a gash to the sea there
forces
like a tree:
one arm in the sky and one in deep earth
the water;
calendar of sources
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NkwCaoLUuc&feature=related
quivers
I like quiversw.
(Hi Doc)
hi offie
I am heading to Darwin in 2 weeks to take up position with Northern Land Council roaming the territory in my black Akubra wrestling crocs and sharpening a wicked blade...
bye bye Norfolk Island for 3 years...
I need the warmer climes, and drinks with limes, and the breath of the arafura sea
I like "like a tree:
one arm in the sky and one in deep earth
the water;
calendar of sources"
Interesting vids them, always found the fractal crop "circles" fascinating, perhaps I'm just a closet new-age fumble-mentalist but there's always been this nagging doubt that not all of them were made by two pissed blokes and a plank of wood.
Not heard about the link with water composition before, intriguing Doctor, thanks for posting and good luck with your new posting!
file
I found the water link fascinating in the wider context of genetic coding and distribution through planetary cycles, rather than being specific to the crop artists - also in the crop-crush suite some very funny comments from offended farmers who find ripe crops lying underneath the harvester's reach...
jasmine my daughter says there are most defintely extra Ts out there but why would they disguise themselves as planker plonkers? she asks.. one wonders...
Will Norfolk Island pine* for you, Doc, while you're away?
I don't like the sound of the crocodiles, at all. Were they in the job description?
* arboricultural pun
Sorry to neglect my webhostly duties lately, I've needed a break. Normal service will be resumed at some point.
Meanwhile, some rather charming crop circle artefacts can be found here.
hope everything's well realigned after your break Zeph.
perhaps Jasmine's (lovely name) right doc, perhaps extra T's have a lot of extra time on their hands on account of their wormhole mastery. Imagine carrying a sack of wormholes around with you, whenever you wanted to go somewhere (work, postoffice, washroom &c.) you just stepped into one. But what would the sack be made of and how much would it weigh? I lose sleep at night thinking of these things, but I feel, strangely, reassured that my molecular structure is being adjusted at the level of water, perhaps it will be easier to drop off?
Once again everybody is of topic.I was finally prepared to comment on the Coypu, how to adopt, feed and groom this little charming creature but then you're all
engaged into meaningless conversation and I can't blog seriously anymore.Molecular Structure? Ole Molle, never heard this name before.
Life's a break.
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Obviously you feel no compassion for animals.
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