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Sunday 29 July 2007

50 word stories: Morte Derek -- by File

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The outline of the corpse was under the window, cut into broken glass, filled with blood. Sir Derek had been alone but for his young wife. "He was shot by someone outside" she'd said. The Belgian detective had seen glass on top of the body, he sighed "Leaf inzurance, non?"

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34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bon sang, mais c'est bien sûr...

Anonymous said...

Ach, nein!

Anonymous said...

OK, OK, j'arrête.

Anonymous said...

Bon, d'accord, encore un alors.

Anonymous said...

la plume de ma tante et encore moite

Anonymous said...

fin d'epoque

file said...

morning all, are you related?

Anonymous said...

We're all inside your mind, Mr File, each and everyone of us.

file said...

M.Noble,

yes I was worried that that might be the case, strap yourselves in, it's gonna be a bumpy ride

offsideintahiti said...

Face it, you deserve us.

Le Morte d'Arthur in 50 words, now, that would have been a real challenge, you wimp.

file said...

we deserve each other, sorry

thought I'd leave Morte d'Arthur for braver souls, even Morte Derek was a bit frightening, but he had to go!

offsideintahiti said...

At least, we have each other.

You're the sniper, aren't you?

And the young wife? She's in it with you isn't she?

Will you take over the rabids, now?

Anonymous said...

Morte d'Arthur:

Boy gets sword out of stone, becomes king. Wizard Merlin helps. Innovative table stops knights fighting. Wife fancies best friend though, problems... Witchcraft and treachery abound. Sends knights off on quest for Grail, many strange adventures. Nasty nephew revolts, big battle, good times are over. Floats off to Avalon, dead?

sorry, couldn't resist it...

file said...

well done Z, fearless as always

but no sang real or Mordred?

Anonymous said...

nasty nephew = Mordred

sang real, don't believe in it, it's a misprint!

(next week, War and Peace on the back of an envelope..?)

file said...

sange boreal?

serge roll?

sang kew for the memories?

Anonymous said...

Hm, well, it depends which version you follow, but for 'nasty nephew' I might have to put 'incestuously begotten illegitimate son' which messes up the word count... that Mordred, nothing but trouble...

file said...

see, Morte d' is fraught with danger, swhy offie and me ran screaming from it

even Morte D might have the odd perilous slope if anyone thinks there's a sniper involved...

still, fortune favours the brave, might be the right day to buy a lottery ticket Z


Subterranean W&P (sans envelope):

who knows why anyone does anything, but they do, Napoleon retreats, Andy dies, Nick marries Mary, Pierre, Natasha, don't follow leaders, watch the parkin' meters, get born, keep warm, short pants, romance, learn to dance, get dressed, get blessed, try to be a success, please her, please him, buy gifts

Anonymous said...

Twenty years of schooling and they put you on the day shift..

Nick Tolstoy, what a dude eh?

file said...

what a dude indeed

the Bible:

In the beginning was the end.

Lord of the Rings, anyone?

Anonymous said...

Any Hardy on the back of a stamp would be good - or Dickens?
Jarndyce v Jarndyce. Loads of lawyers get money. Case never ends. Bleak House - bleak result.

Anonymous said...

L O R:

Small guy dumps ring, saves world.

Anonymous said...

Zeph: LOR - small guy with furry feet dumps ring, saves world!!

Anonymous said...

Jane Eyre:

She was plain and lonely. He was rich and guilty. They got along like a house on fire.

file said...

Moby Dick AND The Year of the Cat

On a morning from a Bogart movie Ishmael finds a whaler with a mad captain, goes off looking for a madder whale, finds it coming out of the sun like a watercolour in the rain, eyes shining like the moon on the see, the drum-beat strains of the night remain
In the rhythm of the new-born day, everyone dies except the whale and Ishmael who floats off on a coffin

Anonymous said...

File, only you could combine Herman Melville with Cat Stevens... or Yusuf Melville with Herman Islam..

offsideintahiti said...

File, only you could confuse the ever reliable Zeph into confusing Cat Stevens with Al Stewart. Well done. (And good morning from Moorea, all.)

offsideintahiti said...

Ah well, it happens.

It's the whale season here, I'll see if I can get an interview with Moby, find out about our cetacean friends' tastes in music.

Anonymous said...

OK then, Al Melville, Herman Stewart and Dick Moby...

So Offside, did you pay off the rats and get your phone line back?

offsideintahiti said...

Nope, I ain't paying no rats no protection money, ma'am. I'm trying to motivate the cats instead.

Still using the neighbour's wifi, a bit slow but ok. I have good hope a technician will show up before Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Offy: a good way to motivate the cats is to bribe them with FISH!
Anyone fancy dabbling with Iain Banks and giving me The Crow Road in 50 or less words?

Anonymous said...

This evening I'm liable to confuse him with Ian Fleming....

file said...

[file pushes sleeves up, interlaces fingers and cracks knuckles loudly, too loudly, winces, coughs]

Candide AND In the Garden

All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds, you were a creature all in rapture, a hundred times I wanted to kill myself but always I loved life more, you went into a trance, your childlike vision became so fine, what is worse the miseries of the world or sitting here doing nothing?

No guru, no method, no teacher, just you and I and nature, in the garden

DoctorShoot said...

oh dog Sir Derek gorne just like that...

"shot from a passing train" springs to mind
but I was never sure if that meant the victim was
a) thrown speedily out of a moving locomotive (or carriage thereof)
or
b) hit by an accurate marksman who was on a passing train
or
c) the victim of excessive and unmanagable noise fever from living too close to the tracks